Real

The past few weeks have been an emotional blur for my family. I needed to take some time off of training to focus on my kids and try to function-survive- the best way that I could.

Without reliving the details of the past weeks, I can say that I am now single parenting my four little loves. This has always been one of my worst fears. Never in a million years would I have thought this would be my life.

And here I am.

It's an odd feeling being around strangers right now. Going to the grocery store. Getting gas. Teaching classes. Getting a coffee. I feel like I should have some huge life threatening gash or hemorrhage...something that reflects how I'm feeling inside.

That is the beauty and nightmare of emotional pain. It hurts so badly you feel like you should be on life support. Then, when you want to be anonymous, you can slip on a pair of sunglasses, walk with purpose....and be normal. Happy. All while being quite the opposite.

So now what?

Rebuild!! One day at a time, one foot in front of the other- I will humbly rebuild. No room for pride or judgement. My hope, my goals and dreams- have not been robbed.

My training will look a little different from here on out, but, it can be done. My friend and trainer is amazing- already coming up with a  plan that will work for my schedule- a lot can be done at home with bands, free weights, and a ball. Oh- and a TON of discipline. AND she's doing it with me. We will be competing together and I am so excited.

I WILL focus on the positives of each day. Get it done. KEEP MOVING!!

Workouts today:

Teach Zumba
Abs

Today I will get all 6 clean meals in- no skipping them!

Make it happen!
Dutchess

Abs

Keep Moving

Quitting is not an option; I'm choosing to keep moving, no matter how hard it is.

Workouts today:
Sculpt
Abs
Zumba

Goal for the day: get all 6 clean meals in- I need to keep the fuel going.

Make it happen!!
Dutchess

Unravel

Meal 1 of the day: egg whites, green onions, lots of Cholula (yum), and a banana

It took all morning to eat this- my nerves are a mess, my emotions all over, and I'm unraveling. It's hard to keep anything down.

I think this is the most stress I can say I've ever been under- but even in this, I have a choice. I can let it destroy me. I can let it ruin me- take away my hopes and dreams, rob me of my laughter, steal my smile, harden my heart...OR I can focus on the positives..however small they may seem right now. I can see the beauty in my kids and let laughter pour out. It really is the best medicine.

One foot in front of the other. I can do this.

Workouts are my outlet right now and although May 12th feels like a world away, it's a goal that will keep me going. I will make it there...even if I have to crawl some days.

4 more clean meals to go- Zumba and Abs tonight. GET IT DONE!!

xo, Dutchess

Never Give Up

Nothing is impossible. Never give up.
Dutchess

Will Power

No thank you to peanut butter chocolate chip cookies and all kinds of delicious from Harry and David...

Meal 1 of the day: Ground Turkey breast, green chiles, spinach, egg whites and a banana. Feeling strong!

I am so ready for cold and flu season to be over! Staying consistent with vitamins, rest, and clean eating- I can't afford to skip out on any more training from being sick.

Workouts tonight:

Zumba

Abs

Sculpt

Make it a great day!!

Dutchess

Can

Listening to that voice way too much lately. NO MORE!!

Kickboxing and Zumba tonight- GET IT DONE!!
Dutchess

Pistachio

I have been loving these lately! Great high protein snack and low calorie compared to other nuts- packed with antioxidants, potassium, phosphorus, magnesium, and a good source of B6- they also just taste good!

I have not been feeling well at all lately and when I don't feel good, my eating gets all messed up. I think there were three days in a row that I consumed less than 400 calories- not good- but couldn't do much about it.

Today is a new day though and I WILL stay on track. Clean eating and workouts ahead- I can't lose sight of my goal. 7 months is going to fly by and I want to finish with NO REGRETS.

Workouts today:
Zumba
Abs
Sculpt

Posing and walking practice starts soon- I wonder what my coach will be like. Sounds interesting!

Get it done!!
Dutchess

Lean

Low

"I didn't just jump back on the bike and win. There were a lot of ups and downs, good results and bad results, but this time I didn't let the lows get to me."

-Lance Armstrong

Not letting this 'low' get to me- pushing through and focusing on my goal. Finish this week strong- get it done!

Dutchess

Motivation

 

This is Olya Haidner- ummm, AMAZING!!! Her before and after pictures are absolutely inspiring AND she's a single mama of two. It can be done- hard work and determination go a LONG way!!!!

Get it done!!
Dutchess

Calves

Post workout this morning, starting to see some progress!! Thank you Zumba ;)

Had a killer workout with K this morning- felt awesome!! Insanity and Zumba tonight- kill it!

Make it happen!!
Dutchess

Hangover

These are my weakness. SO SO good, but oh so bad. I did have some candy last night- 3 pieces...and two starburst this morning, but now the candy indulgences are OVER!! I feel like I have a sugar hangover- I hated the way the candy made me feel.

One taste of sugar was enough to get me hooked again, the next few days will be hard to stay on track, but my meals are prepped and ready- I'm all set for clean eating. And the Halloween candy has been hidden. ;)

Workout tonight:
Zumba
Abs
Insanity 

Happy November! 7 months until competition day!!! Get it done!
xo- Dutchess